Dear...

I’m scared of how things are progressing the past days. It is quite overwhelming. I haven’t felt this way for awhile and I’m scared. Somehow, it felt right. I’m happy but cautious all the more. I don’t know if I could trust you or trust myself and give in to what I’m feeling. I’m scared of maybe falling for you. Then again, it feels right and seems at the right time too. I just hope we won’t make the wrong decision. It would be a serious thing for both of us. We are the unlucky ones, remember?

I know deep inside that I will not make a wrong decision if I truly surrender to what I’m feeling for you. I don’t know you very well. And we belong to different worlds. I just wish we could be open into accepting each other without prior judgment or from the people around us. It won’t be easy. I want to trust you, too.

Maybe you’re feeling the same way. But you made it seem so easy. We’re not too young but somehow emotionally, we are still immature. We’re somehow the perfect match yet that’s frightening me too. Are we strong enough as we think we are? Or are we just thinking that?

But, now I know deep down that I don’t want to lose you. I hope you feel the same way. But I want to guard myself because maybe our feelings won’t last long. Maybe it’s just out of emptiness that we’ve found each other. Are we ready to fight for what we have at the moment? Or are we just maybe excited of this newfound feeling? Are we really in love? Can we fight and stand by each other if we get out of the real world? Are you ready to accept me for what I really am? Are we ready to give up our easy, uncomplicated lives?

I’m asking myself these because I suddenly felt that you could be the one. And I want you to be that. But at the back of my mind I’m thinking that you just wanted somebody on the sidelines. Somebody to help you out or cheer on you. I know you have bigger plans for yourself yet I don’t know if that includes me too. I just hope we could understand each other despite many barriers. I just wish you could erase all my questions and insecurities. I hope we’re ready for what lies ahead.