T-bone Steaks

Hello there, old blog!!!

2011-09-02T16:59:00.000-07:00

I know it's been a while. Sorry for the long hiatus! If only blogger has a blackberry app, I could update this page every now and then...Guess, I'm too caught up with this smartphone craziness and my new 'mobility' that I could stand not being in front of a pc for weeks. Oh well, I promise to get back to you the soonest. I might even dress you up a little bit. Just like old times...

Kimchi and more

2010-10-09T00:19:00.000-07:00

In between bouts of laundry and The Hills reruns, I managed a thought of kimchi outage in our table for the past weeks (or has it been months?). We sure had our constant supply from my mother-in-law replenished every so often but the last time she returned our huge plastic container, it was not the cabbage kimchi I expected but radish or chonggak kimchi which I cannot stand! I love our regular cabbage or paechu kimchi which I helped make for the first time last November along with my omonim's ajumma neighbors! That was my first daunting task as a dutiful daughter in law. :) And mind you, my MIL's kimchi is the best surpassing the restaurants' deliriously MSG filled goodness. Legend has it that my husband couldn't eat kimchi in his friends' houses when he was young.

I understood it's not kimchi making season yet so I opted to buy pre-packaged, over-priced cabbage kimchi from Lotte Mart. I definitely can never stand the chonggak kimchi's bitter taste and dreadful smell when taken out of the fridge. To date, we don't own a kimchi refrigerator as we're getting the stash from the mother ship (a.k.a. in-law's house and farm) along with other vegetables and rice. They live just about 5 minutes by car so it's almost just a trip down to my neighborhood sari-sari store! We're truly blessed to have in laws providing us with our basic needs as a newly-married couple. Btw, my neophyte tip to remedy the awful kimchi smell not to dominate your entire fridge or the kitchen for that matter is to cover the container first with plastic or saran wrap before putting on the lid.

So what takes me to this point is this news article I've read a few days back on Chinese cabbage price hike affecting Korea's staple food for next year. The culprit it says is the unusual weather conditions that we are experiencing. True enough, it's almost we're skipping fall season this year with unusually cool to cold temperatures come nightfall and early mornings.

Read full article on JoonAng Daily Cabbage crisis causes kimchi crunch. To quote "Even the Blue House has been hit. President Lee Myung-bak has switched from kimchi made from Chinese cabbages to European cabbages..."

Now, who knows the relation between Heidi and cabbages? kidding...lolz!

Musings

2010-09-11T10:54:00.000-07:00

Well, I've been out of the loop for a while. It's not that I've been totally hibernating 'coz I still check this site once in a while or my blogger friends sites for the matter. Maybe I've been spending too much time on Facebook or Twitter reeling on more real-time posts (mostly not mine, though) that blogging may seem as ancient as mIRC trying to connect to a server!

It's almost the last quarter of the year...and the most (un)eventful so far. I'm pushing my third year in Korea and still struggling to learn the Language. I'm not blaming it on anyone or making excuses any longer for this sad fate. Heck, I don't want to even talk about it. I'm a big snob when it comes to this. So, pardon me...

I've started on a new job/employer at the start of the year and eventually, next week will be my last...Nice try, huh! Another tragic story that I'm not too happy talking about, either. It wasn't a big loss, anyway. One good thing came out of it though. I've gained experience in teaching adults in a classroom setting. So I've finally found some decent conversation while in class and not just playing silly games or tongue-in-cheek chants! And realized that I'm made for the latter anyways.

Our love story hasn't gone sour yet, I suppose. Rather, it has stabilized to where it should settle in the first place---reality. It's almost we're back to square one. We're still to coming to terms with living together. For the longest time, we couldn't live without each other. Now, we're torn as to which actually worked better. Don't get me wrong, we're still crazy about each other! And we're bound to have our own offspring sooner the better, I hope.

Again, pardon my 9-11, pre-chuseok musings. Not much to stir my husband's ancestors in high heavens! This is one difficult year, undoubtedly. But I'm still hopeful and thankful for the adequate 'harvest' and wishing for all my ajumma friends likewise.

Adventureland

2010-02-10T01:54:00.000-08:00

The 80's wasn't really my coming-of-age decade, but I have undying fascination of the youth culture that sprung out of the era. Blame it on my fanatic observations of my elder cousins, our underaged helpers, John Hughes' teen flicks, and mostly from the pop/punk/new wave music that defined the decade.

A recent discovery is the film Adventureland (2009). Set in 1987, about a group of teenagers on summer jobs at a local amusement park. Typical 80's teen movie elements aren't missed--the nerd virgins, the troubled pretty girl, the obnoxious hunk, the pot heads, the popular slut etc. But everything wasn't too typical at all! In fact, I enjoyed the gloomy suburban feel to it. And really, what could go wrong when Kristen Stewart is one of the leads?

A real treat is the awesome soundtrack. Here's a playlist of the songs I enjoyed in the film. Hope you'll love them as much as I did!

1. Satellite of Love - Lou Reed
2. I'm in Love with a Girl - Big Star
3. Just like Heaven - The Cure
4. Don't Dream it's Over - Crowded House
5. Rock Me Amadeus - Falco
6. Pale Blue Eyes - Velvet Underground

p.s. Lou Reed/Velvet Underground and Big Star were icons of the 60's and 70's respectively. Songs and artists featured in the movie OST were not necessarily part of the 80's music genre.

LOVE

2009-12-27T01:21:00.000-08:00

How should I begin...

Let's just say Love hits you...

at the most unexpected places or time.

But I wouldn't also advise to just sit and wait,

as the most positive or the frustrated would say.

Loving may take courage, a little luck, or loads of prayer.

Love had been many things for me...

It took me a while to understand,

or maybe I still don't after all...

All I know is it felt right from the beginning,

unpretentious and alive...

...a breath of fresh air.

a HAPPY thought!

And I was ready to give it a chance,

to give it my all...

for better or worse...

Him and Me
with our families
Nov. 22, 2009
Uijoeongbu, South Korea

Taga-uma*@Korea

2009-08-26T09:06:00.000-07:00

I remember Genevieve or 'Bevs' during our freshman year in U.P. Visayas (Miagao, Iloilo) as the girl who usually sits in the front row, throwing witty insights with a dose of sarcasm to our professors. In her petite but strong-willed frame, and proud Kinaray-a (from Antique) accent, we knew she was deemed for bigger things. Little did we know that it would all come too soon for her.

Genevieve L. Asenjo is perhaps the most celebrated alumna of our class in the Humanities. She earned her first Don Carlos Palanca Memorial award for Literature at 22 (Hiligaynon short story tagauma@manila), published her first collection of short stories at 25, (Taga-uma@manila kag iba pa nga pakipagsapalaran (A collection of Short Story in Kinaray-a) and a PhD in Literature at 28 (High Distinction and Outstanding Dissertation Award) . She is an Assistant Professor at De La Salle University in Manila from 2003 to the present.
Currently on leave for a study grant here in S. Korea, she explores this part of the peninsula with childlike enthusiasm. Hangeul classes at the Korea University are part of her daily routine aside from the cultural tours integrated within the program. She's also keen on exploring and researching for some new material for a new project. Perhaps a novel, a prose, a screenplay...who knows? And yes, if you ask her why she is in Korea she'll straightforwardly tell you...'To fall in love!"

Despite all her nakaka-windang accolades, she still remains to be the same charming, down-to-earth Bevs that we knew.

How did your writing career began?
I was discovered in a literary event in UPV during my last year in college. I was invited to pursue my master’s degree in DLSU, and was offered an entry position as faculty.

What’s the transition like coming from UP to La Salle?
My first job was like on a different status. Sort of a culture shock. I didn’t know at first how to grade! But everyone was helpful so it was not really that difficult.

What are your impressions of South Korea and the Koreans?
Seoul is cleaner and more organized than Manila. I was amazed sa dami ng flowers! On my first day, I was tempted to pick up some roses down the walls in the neighborhood. Bigla kong naisip, baka may law and there would be a headline: "Filipina, arrested for picking roses in Seoul"! Katakot!

What are your insights about Pinoys in Korea?
During mass on Sundays sa Hyewa, ang daming lalaki. Obviously, mga lalaki ang pumupunta dito para mag-work. Ang available na work para sa mga lalaki. Napaiyak ako noong una, thinking ito ang mga magulang na may mga pamilya na naiwan, iniwan sa Pinas, at nangungulila rito kasi ako nga, nalulungkot e.

Favorite Korean food?
Bibimbap! I'm fine with Korean food. Lahat makain ko, actually. Di lang masyadong nakakabusog kaya on the first week weeks, feeling ko palagi akong gutom.

Can you recommend some notable Korean literature.
Marami magagaling, mahirap nga lang ang mga pangalan! Saka ito 'yong 'serious literature'. Gusto ko ang isa sa pinakasikat nilang poet, si Ko Un. Kaya lang matanda na. Nakapunta ito sa 'Pinas. Ipinanganak siya during the Japanese occupation at naging Buddhist monk after the Korean war. Doon siya simulang nagsulat. Then lumabas din at nag-asawa ng isang literature prof. O, di ba?... Nakakainggit na they are really writing in Korean. Nakakamangha na ang binabasa nila - like Harry Potter - in Korean translation. In short, they are reading the world in their own language. Mismo!

What’s the direction of Phil Literature in your opinion?
I think we are doing fine sa Phil. Lit. Most academe based nga lang. We are writing in different Phil. languages and nagpa-publish na rin ngayon internationally other than 'yong mga matatandang writers. Last year, Filipino ang nanalo ng grand prize sa Man Asia Literary Award. Ito ang isang prestigious award sa Asia. Novel ito in English. This year, andaming nasa shortlist. Visit panitikan.com.ph. Dito mababasa ang ilan sa mga works ng maraming magagaling na Pinoy writers.

Do you have any special projects in Korea?
I volunteered for Sulyapinoy and they scheduled me for a talk on Sept. 27 (tentative date) after the mass. Literature and globalization ang general topic. Philippine-Korea ang context. Baka mag-facilitate rin ako ng writers workshop sa grupo ng mga Filipino women married to Korean sa Busan sometime in October. I'm trying to write my projects - poetry and fiction - aside from my official activities here that include studying Hangeul and doing cultural tours.

What's the next step for you in the Philippines?
My next book, my first novel, is coming out this December. The title is "Lumbay ng Dila" (Loneliness of Tongue).You can read the first few chapters on this link. http://www.philjol.info/philjol/index.php/IDEYA/article/viewArticle/952.

Dr. Genevieve L. Asenjo is a poet, fictionist, researcher, translator, cultural worker, and Assistant Professor at De La Salle University-Manila. She is the author of Pula ang Kulay ng Text Message (University of San Agustin Press, 2006), a poetry collection in Kinaray-a and Filipino, and taga-uma@manila kag iba pa nga pakipagsapalaran (NCCA, 2005), a collection of stories in Kinaray-a. She is a three-time Don Carlos Palanca awardee for her stories in Hiligaynon and two-time Home Life Magazine awardee for her poems in Filipino. She is a member of Philippine International-PEN, Philippine Studies Association, and the NCCA Translation Committee. She has published in national anthologies, magazines, and journals. She has earned writing fellowships and served as panelist in writing workshops. She has a Master of Fine Arts in Creative Writing and a Ph.D. in Literature at DLSU.
Source: Mothertongue Publishing Inc.

*Taga-uma - in the Hiligaynon dialect, pertaining to a person living or hailing from the countryside or with provincial roots.

Hyewha on a Sunday

2009-08-25T03:56:00.000-07:00

Hyewha-dong is the Pinoys' "melting pot" in Seoul. Never could one imagine a crowd of Filipinos in all forms and sizes, in mother tongues so diversed, could assemble in one little 'Bayan' --not even in Quiapo nor Divisoria.

The Hyewha Catholic Church serves as the Pinoys' comfort zone on a Sunday. Tagalog mass is conducted at 1:30pm. For somebody like me who would usually take hearing mass for granted, I was moved by the simple "Alleluia" being sang in Filipino. Kudos to the awesome Pinoy all-male choir!

And what better way to celebrate a Sunday but to satisfy our craving for some Pinoy comfort food! Carinderias sprout everywhere the area on this busy day. A set meal could start from 5,000 won which includes 2 ulam, soup and rice even good for 2! (as in lamon to!) I was too absorbed in eating my sisig and bakareta that I forgot to take some shots! Street food from bananacue to squid balls shouldn't be missed as well! A bonus to other foreigners is that vendors can speak both in English and in Korean!

Here's the palengke-day scene outside the church.

HOT vendors Piolo and Sam...joke lang po!

Canned goods to bring home!

Only in the Philippines...balut and mangga!

The Palenkeras and Palengkero...
Myself, writer-friend Gen Asenjo, on a study grant hiatus and Zach of Sulyapinoy.org!

Dae Jang Geum Theme Park

2009-08-21T09:55:00.000-07:00

And so we were bored on a scorching Sunday afternoon. How redundant can it get? Husband and I decided to take a little tour not very far from where he lived. And guess what was there all along? The Dae Jang Geum Theme Park! Yes, the site of the famous drama Dae Jang Geum or "Jewel in the Palace".

We were two strangers trying to 'acquaint' ourselves with this quaint theme park. Me, perhaps being the only Filipino who has not seen the drama, and him enjoying his first visit after almost 15 years. Once it was just a park open to public built by MBC TV station, then reconstructed into a drama set in 2003. I can't believe he never attempted to sneak in to watch the filming inside when this place is almost just across his street! Tsk, tsk...

Lee Young-Ae is even her favorite actress!

Costumes for Rent

MBC Studios

The soccer field at the foreground where he used to play when he was young.

Moi, trying hard to be an almighty kusinera!

Entrance fee: 5,000 won
(1,000W discount for Yangju City residents)
Tour duration: approx. 1.5 hours
Killing time while tripping down memory lane: Priceless!

How to get here: take Seoul Metro Line 1. Get off at Yangju Station exit 1 and cross the street. A local Yellow bus marked DaeJangeum Thema Park (#2-4) leaves approx. every 5 minutes.

Tao lang...

2009-08-06T04:21:00.000-07:00

The picture can speak for itself....until you read the caption!!!Manila Bulletin 'to ha!!!

Tita Cory

2009-08-05T06:47:00.000-07:00

The tearful Philippine skies were almost like a prelude to the Filipinos mourning over Cory Aquino's passing. From the first day of our week-long trip down to the last, the skies were all but gloomy. Our beach front rooms in Boracay were of no use except for viewing the swaying coconut trees. The pool-resort I reserved in Bacolod only served as backdrop to the daily downpour. Nevertheless, the trip was a memorable one for all of us. With some major and minor nuances also meant to be forgotten. Still, I'm thankful that we're back in Korea all in one piece.

On our last day, Sunday, we took Cebu Pacific's first flight out from Bacolod to Manila (better early than rushing to our flight back to Korea at around 3pm). I was still heady and delirius while chatting with my friend Dulce whom we met in Makati. And when the newspaper-boy passed by with this image on the front page I just gasped like I completely understood it. And my friend confirmed, 'Yes, day...last night'. (Btw, no newspapers on Cebu Pacific's discounted flights on economy class, local and international...nor food and water! buti na lang may upuan! hehe...)

Here are some photos from The Philippine Star's inside spread tribute.

1986 Inauguration and People Power Rallies.

Cory and Ninoy's Wedding Day in 1954.

Cory as a young Kulasa. She was valedictorian in elementary school.

Prayer for a Happy Death
by Corazon C. Aquino
(written while she was still in good health.
from The Philippine Star August 2, 2009)

Almighty God, most merciful Father
You alone know the time
You alone know the hour
You alone know the moment
When I shall breathe my last.

So, remind me each day,
Most loving Father
To be the best that I can be.
To be humble, to be kind,
To be patient to be true
To embrace what is good,
To reject what is evil,
To adore only You.

When that final moment does come,
Let not my loved ones grieve for long.
Let them comfort each other
And let them know how happiness
They brought into my life.
Let them pray for me,
As I will continue to pray for them,
Hoping that they will always pray for each other

Let them know that they made possible
Whatever good I offered in our world.
And let them realize that our separation
Is just for a short while
As we prepare for our reunion in eternity.

Our Father in heaven,
You alone are my hope,
You alone are my salvation.
Thank you for your unconditional love.
Amen.

Farewell, Tita Cory!
Thank you for making us believe in Democracy.
May your legacy remain in all of us.

Homecoming

2009-07-25T17:02:00.000-07:00

Just one more sleep and I'll be back in the islands again. Counting my sleep is a habit I took after my kindergarten students when they're excited about something! ;) For sometime I've been praying, dreaming, wishing (cursing!) for good weather. Since 2-3 weeks ago I've been looking at weather forecast sites. Accuweather has a 15-day forecast and I've been following other sites too for any deviance. So far they seem consistent with their favorable forecast. Please God, grant us some Philippine sun even just for next week! And you can rain all you want after that! ...just kidding!

The weather wouldn't really matter to me if I was the only one coming home. But I'll be bringing my new Korean family as well. Yes, my husband (yup, we're legally married now but saying that takes some getting used to...with my friends I still refer to him as my fafa or si lolo nyo!) his parents and sister.

It will be the first time for his father and sis so I want the vacation to be extra special. I want aponim to brag about San Miguel beer and the seafood to his friends and agassi about Boracay and the shopping malls when she comes back to the university. As for omonim it will be her second time but she's only been to Manila before. So it will be her chance to go island hopping in the Visayas. As for yobo, he's just excited to meet my dysfunctional family for the first time hehe...

And yes...I'm so ecstatic to see my college friends in Iloilo again. One of my friends Yen will finally have her church wedding after 7 years and 2 kids. I remember attending her civil wedding in Manila City Hall just during her lunch break from work. Her husband is a seaman so they were rushing to wed just before his vacation ends.

L-R: RED, CHE, ANA, BOB, CHEL, ME, ANN, HELEN, YEN, DULC, SHARA

Here's a pic of us during our graduation in 2000. Yes, we're the Centennial Grads so we really worked our asses off just to get the bragging rights for that! In UP simply graduating in 4 years is already an accomplishment! Thanks to Richel for the Facebook tagging and pic upload.

Anthem of the Mixed

2009-06-30T07:22:00.000-07:00

Her name is T. aka Tasha Reid(Yoon Mi Rae). Mom is Korean and father is African-American. Wife to famous Korean hip-hop/rap artist Drunken Tiger. Multi-awarded but seemingly underrated. This song is called Black Happiness, relating about her experiences growing up colored in a very discriminating Korean society. Words to this music are too profound in the English translation. I hope it had the same effect in Korean. See full English translation below.

Black Happiness (감은행복) by: T

My skin was dark from my past
People used to point at me
Even at my mom
Even at my dad who was black, and in the army
People whisper behind my back
Said this and said that
I always had tears in my eyes
Although I was young
I saw my mother's sadness

Everything
seemed like it was my fault
Because of my guilt
I washed my face everytime during the day
With my tears I melt the white soap
I always hated my dark skin
why O why
Does the world judge me
When I hate the world
I close my eyes

I put my soul into the music my father gave me
I feel the volume
And fly higher and higher
Far away
la musique

(When I hate the world)
(Music soothes me)
(you gotta hold on)
(and love yourself)
(When I hate the world)
(Music raises me up)
(so you gotta be strong)
(you gotta hold on)
(and love yourself)

Time passed and I was thirteen
My skin was dark brown
Music doesn't judge color
They give me light
I lead my music
We lean on eachother
I don't feel lonely
Then one day
I was given a chance
I held on to my microphone

And suddenly I was on stage
I say goodbye to music and ask it to come back
Then I became nineteen
I have to lie
I put white makeup over my face
They told me to wear a mask
They said my mom's race was okay
But not my dad's
Every year my age was nineteen
During times when time stopped

I felt like I was in jail
And I leaned on myself
I spent endless, painful days
I ignored their warnings
And because I missed music
I tried to escape
But no, I got caught
I prayed all night
And now I'm free

credits to: rainieyang09

The well-heeled woman

2009-06-22T06:10:00.000-07:00

www.suecommabonnie.com

A Korean modern woman is akin to a pair of high-heels. Lean and long, delicate yet sturdy. In fact, you can easily spot a foreigner from a distance with the absence of clacking high heels or the catwalk grace. Us, from the other side are usually criticized with our laid back manner of dressing. For them sloppy but we mean comfortable. We do know how to dress up on occasions. What woman wouldn't love to?

I came to Korea in the fall of '07. Among the first 'happening' places I've been to was in Myeongdong and I was treated to a sightful of these heel-clad women in all forms and sizes. Coming from the tropics (ehem, Third World) where flip-flops were our year round get-up, I felt misplaced amidst a throng of Korean Barbies.

Good thing, my friend Dee was there to save me. I mean she educated me with everything 'Korean'-- street-wise and fashion-wise. She has lived here for four years before her family migrated to the US. We're no fashionistas but we definitely cringe at TACKINESS! And I love looking at fashion trends. Seoul or anywhere in SK for that matter, is such an ideal place for trend-spotting because they know how to translate it! What you see in the runways or fashion magazines are what you literally see on the streets. No wonder, Korea is one big manufacturer of designer knock-offs!

For young Pinays planning to visit Korea or stay here for sometime, let me share with you a handful of tips for a street-smart experience. Some were handed down from my friend, Dee.

So here goes...from one Filipina to another...from one well-heeled woman (feeling lang no!) to another! ;)

1. Learn the chopsticks! Really!!! As in don't even think of coming here if you couldn't! Good thing I learned to use them since high school. My brother and I used to kupit some in Chowking! =) You wouldn't want to embarrass yourself if somebody treats you out. Some restaurants also don't provide forks for the simple reason that they don't have them! And if you're a foreigner, Koreans would definitely treat you for some authentic Korean food. Forks are usually reserved in fast food places or fine dining. Extreme, eh.

2 . Wear make up! Back home, I ONLY wore make-up for night-outs or if there's a pang-hotel occasion. Otherwise, why bother? Hello, ang init no! But in this country, respect is gained by one's demeanor. It's not saying that you'll clone yourself to be one of them. But a little brightness in the face would surely make a difference.

3. NO JEAN JACKETS!!! This tip was courtesy of Dee. I plead guilty of bringing my old one before! In the Philippines, that's no big deal but you'll understand what I mean once you get here!

4. Baby-Tees are so out! So if you plan to bring 10 new pieces that you thought were so cool from your cosmopolitan city, trust me...they don't belong here. They're good under shirts though!

5. Be friendly and courteous. By this I mean learn to greet and say, Ahnyonghaseyo! to anyone or even a simple nod. Also get used to bowing down to older people. Some say Koreans are rude but that's not entirely true.

6. Learn to walk in stilettos! ...or run or jump or chase a bus and climb flights of stairs with them! That's one wardrobe staple for every Korean woman ages 15 and above! It's ridiculous sometimes to see them so high and mighty in the middle of rain or snow or whatever catastrophe brings the day. Don't worry if u haven't brought one. You can get 'em cheap everywhere here. But I admit, I haven't gotten used to them at all!

7. Bring your FAKES. If you thought your knock-off LV, Chloe, Gucci etc. purses were so shameful in the Philippines, bring 'em here! This is one country where women pride themselves of owning anything designer, real or not! That doesn't end in bags too! Bring those scarves, wallets, belts, jewelry...anything that has foreign HIGH-fashion names on them as in haute couture ha...hindi fake Natasha! (meron ba? jologs hehe...)

8. Don't bring your oversized WINTER WONDERLAND costume. Unless you want to go sledding all day in the winter! Buy your winter clothes here. Instead, bring warm socks, undershirts, mufflers, gloves if you come here on winter time. The outer jackets are aplenty and inexpensive especially in a lot of discount stores.

9. Bring your ALIEN CARD everyday and everywhere. You'll never know when or where immigration randomly checks. (as in may topak!)

10. Yes, don't forget you're still 100% Filipino. So if someone asks you where you're from...say it ala Bb. Pilipinas...I'm from the Philippines!!! And yes, it's THE Philippines hindi lang "I'm from Philippines!"... please lang no!!!

Addiction starter

2009-06-19T09:11:00.000-07:00

Yay! Just had my first Korean fashion magazine purchase! Took me more than a year to do so. Given the fact that they're purely in Korean (no matter how foreign the covers are at first glance), Costly with a big C, they are HEAVY! Blame it on impulse buying coming from a petty fight with the beau and running into a bookstore in my little town that has one decent bookstore with only a shelf, yes, a SHELF of foreign fiction novels.

So, here it is...Elle Korea June 2009. Could have been a great deal if only I could read it! It has Milla Jovovich on the cover. The issue comes with a special supplement and a neat little carrying case. Elle Korea is known for its freebies among the other Korean glossies. Impractical but its still worth feasting my eyes on celebrity fashions, with the pages' sweet perfume smell and drooling over the luxuries I could never afford! My very own cheap thrill, now in a different language!

I've always been a huge fashion/women's magazine reader ever since I could remember. My mother used to buy MOD, Woman's, Women's Journal and all other magazines in newsprint, back in the day (along with my Funny Comics, Bata Batuta or Ayos! comics!) I was already following Jessica Zafra's column, Womanagerie in Woman Today as early as 10 years old.

I just hope this little addiction wouldn't blow up as it had been. I had boxes and boxes back in Manila that I just trashed before coming here. Unlike with books that one can easily sell or give away, these are simply worth nothing! A mere extension of the insanely deceiving high-fashion and cosmetic industries. Again, impractical and feeding on my humble superficiality.

I like Red!

2009-06-01T04:35:00.001-07:00

A cute, little song from one of our books.

I like Red
Red, Orange, Yellow
Green and Blue
Red, Red, I like Red

Red, Orange, Yellow
Green and Blue
Green, green, I like Green

Red, Orange, Yellow
Green and Blue
Blue, blue I like Blue
* Step by Step 1B

Cornell Class

Stanford Class

Tell me which class did it best??? Ivy league, eh...

I remember those days when everyone's only got 8 colors in the Crayola box. And those were all the colors you need to know. You can already color your rainbow, make the flowers red, the grasses green and the poop brown!

Now, who knows how many?

A little look up from Wiki says there are 133!

And Crayola even came up with the Silly Scents series with names like Alien Armpit, Smashed Pumpkin, Gargoyle Gas, Ogre Odor, Mummy's Tomb, Booger Buster, etc...Try to imagine how they would look (or smell) like...

Ding, dong, deenggggg!!!....

You jump, I jump!

2009-05-25T08:36:00.000-07:00

"I am indebted to so many people. A lot of people have suffered because of me. I can’t fathom their suffering more in the future. The rest of my life will only be a burden. I can’t do anything because of my poor health. I can’t even read or write anything. Don’t be too sad. Life and death are both a part of nature. Don’t be sorry. Don’t hold grudges against anyone. It’s fate. Cremate me and erect a small gravestone near my home. I’ve thought about this for a long time."
--translated suicide note of former S. Korea president Roh Moo-Hyun.
(by the Marmot's Hole)

If all leaders are like you, then life would be simpler...all is forgiven!

photo from Chosun Ilbo

Miss U!

2009-04-09T07:18:00.000-07:00

Now, this is one thing I miss...Pinoy Humor!!!...
truly nothing beats! ^^

Presenting the Miss Universe Parade of Nations starting with....

The Beauties of Asia and the Pacific:

Boom! Kabum! Kablam!... AFGHANISTAN!
Harutan, Laplapan, Ariputan… JAPAN!
Mula sa lupa na kulang ang bigas, sandamakmak na mandurugas… PILIPINAS!
King Kong, Kangkong, Korikong… HONG KONG!
(Acting as Mongoloid) Eeehhh aaahhhh… MONGOLIA!
Saan ang gimik? Sa Megamall or sa Glorietta?... SAMOA!
Red Tea, Green Tea, Iced Tea… TAHITI!
Ako ay bonggang-bongga, Walang kasing bongga, from… TONGA!
Amnesia, Anesthesia... INDONESIA!
One little, Two little, Three little… INDIA!
Singaone, Singatwo, Singathree... SINGAPORE
Taifour, Taithree, Taitwo... TAIWAN!
Tama ako, tama ka, tama tayong lahat... MALAYSIA!
Aray ko po, aray ko po, wag nyo po akong saktan... KAZAKHSTAN!
Parang Spam, Brick Ham, at Chinese Ham… ako ay malinamnam... VIETNAM!
Hindi na In, Hindi na Sikat, eh ano sya?... LAOS!
Move over Lutong Bahay… Here comes Lutong… MACAU!

Beauties of Europe:

EDSA, Ayala, Buendia… ESPAÑA!
Alms… spare me a piece of bread… I am... HUNGARY!
Mula sa bansa na unang nagpauso ng po, opo, at mano po… POLAND!
One way, two way, there’s no other way... NORWAY!
Seduce me… I’m not Amy Perez, I’m Amy… AUSTRIA!
Palagi na lang ako…ako…ako... MONACO!
Taliba, Tiktik, People’s Tonight… BULGARIA!

Beauties of the Americas:

Baha doon, baha dito, baha sa buong mundo... BAHAMAS!
Ola! Areola! Arinola! Kaserola!... VENEZUELA!
Mula sa Bayan ng mapupulang Gumamela… GUATEMALA!
Tang ina mo wag kang pasaway... PARAGUAY!
Anna Karenina, Flor De Luna… ARGENTINA!
Ako po ang nawawalang kapatid ni Majah Salvador at Phillip Salvador… EL SALVADOR!
I'm sorry Sir, I'm sorry Ma'am... SURINAME!

Beauties of Africa:

Hindi sa akin, hindi sa yo, kanino sya?... KENYA!
Alin…alin…alin ang naiba. Isipin kung alin ang… naiba… NAMIBIA!
(Ala Nora Aunor) Isang beses ko lang sasabihin ito… hindi ako si Bembol Roco… MOROCCO!
From the land where nobody is less than nor greater than… SUDAN!
Ako po ay maganda, saksakan ng ganda, putang ina ang ganda from... UGANDA!

*re-posted from my friend Valerie. Thanks, gurrl!

Bear's Town

2009-03-26T06:57:00.001-07:00

Our winter trip with the kids at Bear's Town.

Just trying out this site that my friend Yen recommended. It instantly makes videos like this but the free trial can only give you 30 seconds. Just load your pics, choose the music and they do the effects for you! Their slogan boasts 'The end of slideshows'. But with a price of course, if you want to do full length videos! I didn't bother finding out how much though. Well, it's still worth checking the site animoto.com Great fun to kill boredom!

a Wedding and a Funeral

2009-03-22T18:03:00.000-07:00

My weekend was filled with 'family affairs'. My boyfriend's family, that is. On Saturday we attended his elder cousin's wedding, the bride. It was my first introduction to the important people in his family. I was hesitant to come with him but his cousins wanted to meet me. I also felt its time to meet the elders as well. I was a nervous wreck as usual! Even going to his house still gives me the jitters even if I've been there several times. We were late as traffic in Uijangbu usually never cooperates if you're in a hurry for special occasions. ;) So when we arrived at the wedding hall, the ceremony was over and they were already taking pictures. I was disappointed as it could have been my first time to witness a real wedding ceremony. Anyway, I refused to have my picture taken as I felt it's still inappropriate as it's only my first time to meet all of them. I don't know if this act is being courteous or rude. But I hope they would understand.

I was in fact overwhelmed with their hospitality. His father was the one introducing me as his son's fiance. His mom and aunts were all over me giving flattering remarks which made me more self-conscious. I just felt so bad that I couldn't respond accordingly as my Korean is below average. It's during these occasions that I would play deaf-mute and charming which is way out of my character. haha! My mother would have been so proud of me for 'holding my peace'. I remember I was always reminded as a little girl to 'behave' as I tend to lose my tact on family affairs. Anyway, it was an afternoon-full of bowing and pleasantries and yes, buffet food! I'm thankful for these Korean modern weddings with less fuss and frills. No awkward single ladies games, and long long sermons as long as the wedding trail...I'm already looking forward for our day to come too!

Sunday, I was on my way back from my class in the university when my boyfriend called. He said to come home fast as my boss' mother died who is also his father's eldest sister. I was crushed. Halmony (grandmother) was my favorite person when I arrived here in Korea. My apartment is on the same building as my boss' house. And she lived with them until she got very ill last year. She was unable to go up the third floor so she transferred in her son's house which is just across the street. I believe she had a heart bypass surgery twice and is already very weak. She was in and out of the hospital for sometime and two weeks ago the family was already "informed". I felt so sorry upon hearing that but last week she got better. She came out of the hospital and she looked fine they said. But Sunday afternoon, after receiving some visitors, she suddenly fell on the floor. They rushed her in the hospital which is only about 15 minutes from us, also in Uijangbu but she didn't make it.

Halmony was very kind to me in particular, among the other teachers. She would often knock on my door on early mornings to offer some food. She would say "yummy, yummy" as she thought that meant food! :) She would usually say some kind remarks everytime she sees me like I really understood them followed with a bap mogu? (meaning have you eaten rice? this greeting goes way back during Korea's days of war and famine) When she knew about my relationship with her nephew I expected her to be disappointed, as most of the elders were not open about us. In fact, there was a time when I felt that she was the only one who approved of me. She was very supportive of us as I heard from my boyfriend that she called his mother once and told her to let us be. I would understand the hesitation on his family's part but even with my eyes and mind wide open, I couldn't help feeling hurt. Apart from the kimchi and side dishes she would give me every so often, I owe to her the "gift of acceptance" in their family.

We went to the mortuary last night which was also set up at the basement of the the hospital. Unlike the western style services where people are allowed to see the dead, only a picture is shown as I learned the body is not embalmed. Here the guests can offer flowers, light an incense, offer monetary gifts and bow down. As I bowed down to pay my final respects to her all the wonderful memories of her flashed back to me and I couldn't stop myself from bursting into tears. But nothing compares to the sorrow of the family who were also present during the wedding the day before. I can see the irony of it all. The aunts hair were no longer neatly coiffed and their makeup all smudged. The men who were still having a soju hangover from the previous affair were still here, drinking but out of mourn. The elaborate banquet was replaced with simple home-cooked dishes. And there I was, still deaf-mute but with tears running down my face.

Why I love my job!

2009-03-11T06:52:00.000-07:00

There's never a dull moment when you're teaching kindergarten. It's such a sweet pleasure being part of their little world every single day.

The perks are priceless!

Being talked about in their dinner tables with mom and dad. (makes you constantly think twice of your actions. So far no negative feedback...yet!)

Getting an extra candy! ('me and my friends first, I'll give you one if there's any left!').

Sitting on your lap where its more comfortable than those sturdy classroom chairs. And usually fighting over who's gonna sit on Teacher's special chair right next to her!

They tell you if their birthday is coming up so you can prepare your present. And they never fail to give you a countdown until the big day.

The sweet little hugs, kisses and I LOVE YOUs for FREE!

Listening and believing in every word you say. sample: "In my house...I can make BIIIGGGG cotton candies in all colors!...ooohhhh!!!"

They adore you but pretend not to show too much! (you're not my mommy after all!) But you know that they think about you even for just a moment before they fall asleep at night.

My kids are my reasons for getting up in the morning. And what better way to greet you than this Good Morning and Good Evening Song! Please, please WATCH. This performance was worth 10 STICKERS!!!

RIP FrancisM

2009-03-06T20:23:00.001-08:00

I still can't get over the news on Francis M.'s death due to leukemia yesterday. I heard about his sickness last year but I couldn't imagine him dying. He is truly a big loss to the Philippine music industry. I thought he was so cool back then when with his haircut na 'pang-adik' in the 80's. He was the lone deviant from the Bagets barkada, all with wholesome, pretty boy looks. His fame catapulted when he released his album Yo! with the now classic hit "Mga Kababayan". Everyone in my 5th grade class could memorize this! This paved the way of other rap/hip-hop acts like Michael V. , Andrew E., Mastaplann and one too many artists (now mostly inactive) to the mainstream. But his talents go way beyond with his numerous causes and collaborations with other artists. His Multiply account chronicles his life events and thoughts until the very end, the last entry asking for prayers for his 4th chemo cycle. He may too young to die, but truly it was a life very well lived.

Watching his music videos in Youtube made me teary-eyed for a moment. I like this Kaleidoscope World live session with Parokya ni Edgar.

As they say, RIP or Rap in PEACE!

You were born to be loved

2009-02-26T05:55:00.000-08:00

My adorable babies singing this beautiful gospel song "당신은 사랑 받기 위해 태어난 사람" or "You were born to be Loved" during our Talent Show last Christmas.

I immediately fell in love with the melody and found myself singing along with them during our rehearsals, even not knowing what the song meant! This song is popular during birthday celebrations even for non-Christians in Korea, and even (ab)used in TV dramas and movie soundtracks like Jenny and Juno (2005 kmovie with a storyline much similar to Hollywood flick Juno about teenage pregnancy)

Here's the full version of the song and feel free to sing along with the Romanized lyrics.

당신은 사랑받기위해 태어난 사람 - 바다 - 바다

당신은 사랑 받기 위해 태어난 사람
tangshi-neun sarangbadki wi-hae tae-yonan saram
You were born to be loved

당신의 삶속에서 그사랑받고 있지요
tangshini salm-so-geso ku sarang badko it-ji-yo
Within your life, you’ve been receiving His love

당신은 사랑받기위해 태어난 사람
tangshi-neun sarang badki wi-hae tae-yonan saram
You were born to be loved

당신의 삶속에서 그사랑받고 있지요
tangshini salm-so-geso ku sarang badko it-ji-yo
Within your life, you’ve been receiving His love

태초부터 시작된 하나님의 사랑은
tae-chubuto shijakdwen uri-nu-ne sara-ngeun
The love of God has began since creation

우리의 만남을 통해 열매를 맺고
uriye manna-meul tong-hae yol-mae-reul maet-go
And has connected with us through our fellowship

당신이 이 세상에 존재함으로 인해
tangshini i sesange chon-jae-ha-meuro i-nhae
Because of your existence in this world

우리에겐 얼마나 큰 기쁨이 되는지
uri-yege olmana keun kip-peu-mi dwenun-ji
We share this great joy among us

당신은 사랑받기 위해 태어난 사람
tangshi-neun sarangbadki wi-hae tae-yonan saram
You were born to be loved

지금도 그 사랑 받고 있지요
chigumdo ku sarang badko-it-ji-yo
Even now you are receiving His great love

당신은 사랑받기 위해 태어난 사람
tangshi-neun sarangbadki wi-hae taeyonan saram
You were born to be loved

지금도 그 사랑 받고 있지요
chigumdo ku sarang badko-it-ji-yo
Even now you are receiving His great love

Fresh from my Facebook

2009-02-13T18:50:00.001-08:00

since I've been tagged quite a few times...here's mine...

1. I was named April not because of my birthday. My parents got engaged on this month. I never believed them before but I confirmed it again when I got older. Now, isn't that sweet or pathetic???

2. I'm getting married very soon! We're already starting on the paperwork by next week. I'm excited but it's giving me jitters as well. I couldn't sleep at night and couldn't function well in the morning! ;)

3. We will definitely have traditional Korean 'tele-novela' wedding. My bf is the firstborn son so it's really a big deal in the Korean culture (feeling emperor!). And the list goes on for "my duties and obligations" thereafter.

4. Those tagged are all invited!!!! :) ---> prepare your visas and plete by last quarter of this year! we'll take care of accommodations and the lakwatsa!

5. Also let me remind you...being invited means having to give your "love offering" of at least 40,000 Korean won and closest friends and family of at least 100,000 won. That's around 1,500 - 3,500 pesoses. Sorry, can't argue with tradition! echos lang a!!!

6. I've always belonged in cliques! Odj de corp in high school and the HB in college! but I was never a pop kid hehe...

7. Now, my boyfriend is my only 'barkada'. I mean he's the only one who thinks and acts like my friends back home!!!! minus the drinking and the partying....hmmm.

8. I have quit smoking...I'm smoke-free for exactly a year now!!! thanks to him again for threatening to break-up with me...hehehe!

9. I can buy the same book several times as long as they are affordable or on sale! Having different editions, publishers and covers seem to be important to me!

10. I have a stash of pinoy stuff in my kitchen. Some I still got from the Phils. and some are bought here in Korea (3-5x the price!)...Silver Swan soy sauce, Barrio Fiesta bagoong, Mama Sitas seasoning,
Boy Bawang, Sky Flakes crackers, Carnation Evap, Nata de coco, Monggo beans, Tuyo, danggit etc...Lucky Me Pancit Canton are always sold out!

11. I like my job but it gets boring sometimes. And the kids are just lazy and too rowdy! But I totally adore teaching my Kindergarten kids.

12. I'm contemplating on putting my graduate studies on hold. I only have a year to go and the class president pa (would u believe? :) but I badly need the money for the wedding...argghh!!! and the tuition bill just arrived today! donations please!!!

13. But I still trust God's plans for me. I know everything will just come into place.

14. I love the Korean subway system! It just takes you anywhere and it's cheap too! I enjoy traveling alone on weekends with my little map- feeling tourista! :)

15. When I'm alone, I hate to be harassed or stared at in the streets by fellow Pinoys. I always value my anonymity. I just hated if a group of men would attempt for a chit chat and make remarks like "Pinoy ka?" or would make parinig "Kabayan...kabayan..." bwiseeeettttttttt!!!!!!!!!

!

16. So to remedy this, I usually wear my ultimate disguise...pose as a Korean!...I would wear electric blue eyeshadow and black masscara. (only when I'm alone huh!) I could even hear them arguing...'pare wag, Koreana yan!' hehe...

17. And I'll be getting a perm (kor. translation: 'pehhma'!) soon too, to complete the look! (but not the ajuma style, huh! just a 'waveuhh'....;)

18. I just wish the Filipinos would get the same respect and admiration in Korea just like in other countries. But how can we get that if they only offer us trashy, third-rate jobs??? So I promised myself to make a difference. Really.

19. I want a Jollibee fried chicken meal...NOW! with extra rice please!

20. I miss the Philippine weather.... Manila pollution, noise and the crowd!!!!!!!! the dirtier, sweatier, and louder the better!

21. Of all the malls, I miss Glorietta...G4!!!..the Oakwood entrance with the smell of Bread Talk! Oh, and Greenhills tiangges...

22. I still can't speak Korean. I hate to memorize!!! This is my biggest frustration at the moment and I only have myself to blame--Lazzinesss!

23. I don't mind spending for things like books, dvds, FOOD, gadgets etc. But clothes shopping makes me feel guilty. So I normally buy clothes on sale so I won't feel ripped-off! Hello Forever 21!

24. The only household chore that I despise is taking out the trash. Putting away my junk is second. But it doesn't mean I enjoy the others too...maybe just cooking and dish-washing!hehe

25. Oh well, I'm not such a korean wifey material. I cannot make Kimchi yet! But isn't it enough that I love it???? ;)

Coke

2008-09-23T20:41:00.000-07:00

Flash Back...Grade 1...

...and all the while I thought that was so unique and special! Here's the Korean Version.

This blog

2008-09-16T07:11:00.000-07:00

It's about time to give this blog a new face lift. Even with zero readership, I bothered to make it look pretty and exciting (uh well, this is the best I could do) for myself. It's mine anyway and I'm loving it! I said goodbye to my domain name chinchansu, changing it with this blog's original title T-bone steak. Both I created when I started this blog in 2005. Chinchansu really never meant anything to me other than that Chinese face cream. I was just loving the sound and pun it intended. Guess, it doesn't seem funny now. Being in the situation and the setting I am in, if you know what I mean...

Well, I've been reading through my old posts and sure a lot has changed. The themes and topics are not as cohesive as it should be. I started this back in the day when I was killing time in the office-- merely a venue for my favorite emails from the office mailbox. Then came writing random thoughts not truly expecting somebody to read them. Just an outlet to bring them about. Then it got more personal. Writing about my personal life, letters to my boyfriend and my time now in Korea. I became more open with my feelings and yes, identity! I even put some pictures here and linking it to my other sites.

I love this little blog even if I'm the only one reading this. It's like having my own private notebook in this extraordinarily humongous cyberspace! And I don't need to look hard for it when I feel like writing and reminiscing. So whoever stumbles upon here, you got lucky! You took a peek in somebody's diary! ^^

10 Things I miss back home

2008-08-01T21:30:00.000-07:00

1. Jollibee esp Chickenjoy and Spaghetti!

2. Showbiz talk shows on Sunday afternoons.

3. Manila traffic and noise. Weird but I really do.

4. Forwarded text messages.

5. the Glossies. Cosmo, Preview, FHM...

6. Tropical fruits esp. mango and banana

7. SMB Light

8. Malling esp. Glorietta, Megamall and Greenhills

9. Pirated DVDs

10. riding on Jeepneys

Happy Birthday ne sarang...

2008-04-30T09:04:00.000-07:00

Happy Birthday, Darling! - Jakiya!

Happy Birthday, yobo! Remember this night?

Now it's my turn to say that "I love you!"

Loving you is my greatest gift. From this time...

Until now...

always and forever.

Cheers to all the good and not so good times!
Till the next birthdays and celebrations.
I hope we will always spend them all together.

I'm forever yours, Saranghe.

Happy Together

2008-04-10T08:32:00.000-07:00

I like this beaming pic of us together. We're just genuinely happy to see each other again! This was in February, two days after he got back from the Philippines...after four months of being apart. The immersion worked well for us. But truly it was the longest four months of our lives!

Where I should be

2008-03-30T07:37:00.000-07:00

So far I'm catching up pretty well with what's ahead of me. I started my graduate classes first week of March in Sahmyook University in Seoul. I'm doing my masters on Public Health. A very broad and highly interesting subject. I'm taking 3 courses this term. They are Introduction to Public Health, Advanced Massage Class, and Stress Management. They aren't too much since the classes are only on Sundays. Well, except for the tons of homework and waking up early on a Sunday is a drag.

Sometimes the changes can still blow me away that it's just too overwhelming. Before when life was routinary and redundant, I would complain about stagnation. It frightens me sometimes to look back and think that it will happen again. I remember many times sitting alone in Starbucks 2-3 years ago, smoking my lungs out and thinking what life will still offer me. Is this all there is to it? A mundane job that I couldn't afford to quit, me a little speck in this big city. Nothing amused me anymore. I wanted to do something else but I didn't know what. And there was no opportunity to do anything. Or I didn't try harder cause I was too busy trying to be successful with a job that I hated. But it was my comfort zone. I lived for it that it's too close for comfort any longer. I was bored to death. I literally wished a bomb would fall down from the heavens to stir my emotions.

I guess God answered my prayer. Not literally though. I managed to quit my job of 3 years. It wasn't the wisest thing to do at that time but I was happy. Relieved, much like it. After a few months my friend Dee called from Korea to offer a job to teach ESL to kids funded by a non-profit group from Korea. It wasn't the high power job I was dreaming but oh well, money is running out. I met up with my bosses in Alabang. It was too much of a hassle in the beginning traveling back and forth from Pasig where I lived. And the money wasn't that good. But I persevered anyway. I was still in that stage where I was looking for my so-called direction. And I was thinking, maybe this was the change that I was waiting for. A month passed and another. I was in love. I adored my new job, my new role. And the kids loved me, (I suppose ;)). The children's smiles and affection healed me and brought back my self- esteem. It was indeed the 'bomb' I was hoping for. I mentioned in my previous blog about this experience as my paradigm shift.

A year later I met him. It wasn't love at first sight and certainly unexpected. It was something that blossomed at the right place and time. It's hard to believe sometimes that two people from different worlds and backgrounds could just click. We could just talk for hours and hours, never mind the language barrier. Sometimes I would feel that I don't deserve this newfound feeling of being loved. But you have to accept love to be able to give love. We sure have our own differences that we are still working on. But whatever happens, I will always be thankful and proud of this relationship. I just wish things will all fall into place someday soon. Until then, I can't ask for more.

Long, long distance

2008-01-10T06:53:00.000-08:00

I can't believe it's almost 3 months since I've been here in Korea. I'm adjusting pretty well. The cold weather was killing me in the beginning but so far I'm getting by. You can't really complain if you're paying 100 dollars on the monthly heater bill. It's just one of the things I had to live with. I really really want to learn how to speak Korean. But my brain doesn't cooperate at all! I can't even memorize peoples names! So much for learning the vowels and consonants!

I miss everyone back home. Good thing there's YM, Friendster etc. I won't miss the gossip even while I'm here. What would life be without the Internet? Even my Korean boyfriend is in the Philippines. It's funny how we're learning each other's culture by ourselves. While he's learning about Jose Rizal and the carabaos, I'm in his country too learning about the Chosun dynasty and the subway system! Oh well, immersion is the key. But we just really miss each other. Sometimes phone calls and emails are never enough. I just can't wait for us to be together again.

For L.S.C.

2007-09-19T03:16:00.000-07:00

These are the things that I adore about you. The list is endless…I’ll add some more everytime... But as of now, here they are:

latest update: July 1, 2009

77. Seeing you take care of other people's children.

76. Sharing a secret only us (and a few) know!

75. For fulfilling my little girl's dream of getting married.

74. Your most sincere smile...how could I forget?

73. For being my BFF! ^^

72. For truly being my 'knight' as you say.

71. Just for being here when I needed you most.

70. For making my stress load way much lighter.

69. For being a good listener to all my woes and complaints.

68. Spending Christmas together for the first time.

67. The sweet little surprises you manage to give me at odd hours and times!

66. For subtly (and usually harshly) correcting my mistakes.

65. The way we imagine our future together.

64. For forgiving my selfish, bratty (b*tch*) ways.

63. Meeting your parents for the first time and they showed me such genuine warmth.

62. Still loving me truthfully, honestly and sincerely for a year now.

61. Discovering that little country boy in you!

60. Seeing you care so much for other people.

59. Your weird sense of humor that comes out before I go to sleep! grrr...

58. Cooking for me or asking someone to cook for me. hehe!

57. Seeing your face getting a little chubby. (means that somebody loves you! ^^)

56. Eating take-out food together.

55. Your hugs that erase all my fears and pains.

54. For just being by my side when I'm sick or down.

53. For putting up with my complicated self.

52. For just making me smile for no reason.

51. For appreciating and loving the food I cooked.

50. Finding out your dirty habits, but still loving you endlessly. (why oh why?!)

49. Learning new things about you, good or bad.

48. Accompanying me when grocery shopping.

47. Being a good Korean language teacher (!?)

46. Being together in the mountains. ^^

45. For eating my leftover food.

44. For holding my hand even while you drive.

43. Watching you drive.

42. When you try so hard not to miss me, but you still do. Ha!

41. For trying to win me over after our little fights.

40. For simply appreciating everything I say or do.

39. The sexy way you adjust your glasses. (darling, don't take them off!)

38. When you sometimes pretend to be a dashing Prince Charming from a Korean drama.

38. When you're playing that the phone's dead, or with static, or no signal! (roger...over!)

37. The way you "don't react" when somebody's listening to our phone conversations!

36. The way you laugh and react when we talk on the phone.

35. Darling, sometimes words are simply not enough. I am just so HAPPY!

34. For inspiring me to be a better person or a better partner.

33. For including me in your dreams and in your future.

32. Just for understanding everything.

31. For listening and remembering every sensible or non-sensible details I tell you.

30. Whenever you call me at unexpected times. Or for answering my calls!

29. For assuring me that our love will have its perfect place and time, someday...

28. For making me feel I'm the luckiest person because I have you.

27. For all your efforts, big or small, just to make me feel happy or comfortable.

26. For giving me strength when I really need it.

25. When you told me to just hang on because you will never go.

24. The way I used to make you blush. (but now no more! ^^)

23. The fact that you are athletic which compliments my sluggishness. :)

22. Your being health conscious which compensates my lack of it.

21. Your being way taller than I am.

20. For just loving me in my best and worst days.

19. The way you call my name.

18. The fact that you like kids, like I do.

17. When I see you being responsible and taking charge.

16. For doing your best in texting me things that you thought I might find cute. (but usually not!)

15. When you come to my place at unexpected times.

14. For making me believe in romance again, and telling me to stop and smell the flowers sometimes.

13. The way you make me feel special, every single day.

12. When surprisingly, you believed that there is a God even if you are agnostic.

11. When you whisper sweet words to me in your language.

10. When you thought I was beautiful and smart but I know I’m not. (well, not really!)

9. When unexpectedly you are familiar with a song or singer that I thought you weren’t.

8. For making me appreciate sentimental love songs again.

7. When unexpectedly, you’ve watched the same movies that I saw before.

6. When we realize that we have a lot in common than we thought.

5. When you make me laugh like crazy, it can almost lock my jaw.

4. For making me cry happy tears.

3. For providing your strong arms when I cry or if I feel like crying.

2. When you hold my hand every chance you can get.

1. The way you kiss me. Sloppy in the beginning but later turned out to be really wonderful.

Dear...

2007-09-12T23:49:00.000-07:00

I’m scared of how things are progressing the past days. It is quite overwhelming. I haven’t felt this way for awhile and I’m scared. Somehow, it felt right. I’m happy but cautious all the more. I don’t know if I could trust you or trust myself and give in to what I’m feeling. I’m scared of maybe falling for you. Then again, it feels right and seems at the right time too. I just hope we won’t make the wrong decision. It would be a serious thing for both of us. We are the unlucky ones, remember?

I know deep inside that I will not make a wrong decision if I truly surrender to what I’m feeling for you. I don’t know you very well. And we belong to different worlds. I just wish we could be open into accepting each other without prior judgment or from the people around us. It won’t be easy. I want to trust you, too.

Maybe you’re feeling the same way. But you made it seem so easy. We’re not too young but somehow emotionally, we are still immature. We’re somehow the perfect match yet that’s frightening me too. Are we strong enough as we think we are? Or are we just thinking that?

But, now I know deep down that I don’t want to lose you. I hope you feel the same way. But I want to guard myself because maybe our feelings won’t last long. Maybe it’s just out of emptiness that we’ve found each other. Are we ready to fight for what we have at the moment? Or are we just maybe excited of this newfound feeling? Are we really in love? Can we fight and stand by each other if we get out of the real world? Are you ready to accept me for what I really am? Are we ready to give up our easy, uncomplicated lives?

I’m asking myself these because I suddenly felt that you could be the one. And I want you to be that. But at the back of my mind I’m thinking that you just wanted somebody on the sidelines. Somebody to help you out or cheer on you. I know you have bigger plans for yourself yet I don’t know if that includes me too. I just hope we could understand each other despite many barriers. I just wish you could erase all my questions and insecurities. I hope we’re ready for what lies ahead.

30 going on 13

2007-05-10T21:07:00.000-07:00

It's ironic that while getting older and truly pushing myself to be of age, the more I go way, way backwards. By now I should be dealing with pure grownup stuff eg. loans, taxes, mortgages, career advancement. Or my New Yorker fantasy like adapting a new-age lifestyle, my own bohemian apartment, a non-pseudo relationship or even yes, a marriage. Instead, lately I am surrounding myself with pre-pubescent dramas.

Teaching kids for almost a year now is truly a paradigm shift. This is not just classroom training but even a bedroom and household experience because I get to live with them. It's like having kids of my own since I have a big responsibility for their so-called well-being. The only thing lacking is the real mother-child "connection".

For starters we don't speak the same language. This is in the literal sense because they are Korean kids. Yep, I'm their San-seng-nim (teacher). Their childhood is a little hard to relate to. While my favorite childhood food was dirty ice cream, Chippy and Maggi instant noodles, their comfort food is korean (damn-spicy-hot!) ramen, gochuchang and kimchi of course!

The joy of teaching these adorable children every 2 months begins from the time they arrive. While moms give birth in the hospital, our first encounter would be in the airport. All smiles and all excited, they arrive in their stylish Korean fashion. Colorful windbreakers, bonnets, baseball caps and winter coats. They look like pages in Baby Gap catalogues or Guess Kids.

The second logical thing to do is for parents to decide what should they call their offspring. While their biological parents gave them 3 syllable names (this already includes the surname btw!) we give them cute American sounding names. This could range from the most common like Harry or John, to the Filipino sounding like Fatima or Cynthia and even the absurd names like Fire or David Beckham!

In the classroom lies the true test. Teaching them to read and write the basic, simplest English ever known could be so exhausting. Unlike in the Philippines where English is the second language, even telling them to Sit or Stand is still a task. And yes, every ESL for Korean teacher can relate to the -ishe syndrome. Finishe lunche? Get it?

As a parent you can give yourself a pat at the back when you see your kids turn out not-so-bad like you had been. Well, my happiness is when I see and hear the kids finally talking, understanding and even fighting in English. I can yell at them to "Be quiet!" and they get scared. Or when I tell them to get a pen and they ask "Which color?" Such bliss!

But then, after sometime they will realize they have lives of their own. They had to expand and lead their own lives. As any doting mom or guardian all you had to do is let go. Korean children can definitely teach Filipino kids lessons on respect and love. These kids are very emotional and expressive.

Letting go every two months is an emotional burden but I learned to be strong. The trip back to the airport would be their last teary glance at the country. I hope someday they would remember all the wonderful things we've shared. And maybe go back here and once more say "Ahnyong ase-yo!"

Well life is a cycle. Time to get ready for the next term! :)

BLOG generation

2006-08-11T23:48:00.000-07:00

I've been browsing through some friendster blogs for sometime and couldn't help but feel arghh..a bit depressed and a little angry!. The themes are pretty much similar and oh so monotonous. It's all about love -unrequited, lost yet being a little hopeful and more of this self-declarations of "I can do this!" or worse "I'm scarred, yet now reborn!" Come to think of it, these are blogs of my friends and acquaintances (sorry, guys!) so i couldn't help but pity myself that I belong to this same clique! God, is this all this generation is about? I mean, none of us is truly happy? Is blogging a place for all these pathetic hopefuls who have nobody to care abouty their shit except for somebody to chance upon their blogs and leave a comment if they feel like it?

It's a big, big lonely planet indeed.

the EVIL BADINGS!

2006-05-18T05:39:00.000-07:00

This is one of my fondest memories of college. I almost forgot about this until one of my friends submitted this pic in Friendster. We truly redefined cheerleading in UPV! I just miss you all...though I may only recognize half of you here :) If you feel you are one of these Badings, message me quick!

Catcher in the Rye

2005-12-09T21:47:00.000-08:00

If there's one thing that greatly contributes to my so-called coming of age, it would be this book. I found this 1960's printing when I was 15 in one of the dark and abandoned shelves in our high school library. The exact same printing as this image. For me it was just one of those books that you take home for the weekend. I was trying my best to hit the classics for some "mature" reading to impress the teachers :). Little did I know that one piece of writing could change your general outlook in life. I guess, I just found it at the right time otherwise I wouldn't appreciate it as much.

It wasn't all too dramatic and glorified though. It really didn't take me to plot some murder of a rock legend (i.e. Mark Chapman - the man who shot John Lennon who was found reading a copy while waiting for the cops). Take this piece as a big understatement of how I owe so much to J.D Salinger for finding a broken piece in my life. It helped me to regain my strength and just be contented of who I am cause it's my life anyway. I wanted to believe I can write then and hell, I am going to pursue it. But it all changed when I went to college, but this will be another story.

After reading this, I became a huge fan of the author. I looked him up in the encyclopedias (there was no internet yet then) and good thing he's indeed a live person. This wasn't part of our assigned reading in high school so I researched on my own and didn't get so much information though. I read in Esquire later that he went on a long sabbatical in his own house until now. He knew he was popular but well he did not really acknowledge it. He wasn't used to all the fame and glory. He was just not the type who was too happy to be in the New York Times bestsellers and signing autographs here and there. He assumed a quiet life maybe because he didn't want to become a sellout. Or a phony, he would say.

From my used-books hunting, I found 2 out of 4 titles credited to him. All in early editions, I may boast. I have (or had) "Raise High the Roof beam, Carpenters with Seymour an Introduction" and "Franny and Zooey". I never bought the recent edtions "Nine Stories" being sold in the book stores right now. I still cross my fingers everytime I chance upon garage sales and previously owned book stores. As for "Catcher in the Rye", did I return this on its due date? Take a guess... :)

AMAZING Facts!

2005-11-05T07:19:00.000-08:00

Such a long read but very interesting :)

1. In order to unravel the paradox that is mankind, we should examine the word itself: 'Mankind'. Interestingly, it consists of two words - 'mank' & 'ind'. What do these words mean? It's an enigma and so is mankind. 'Politics' also consists of two words, 'poly' meaning many, and 'tics' as in tiny bloodsucking parasites.

2. If you can smile when things go wrong you already know who you're going to blame.

3. Conscience is what hurts when everything else feels so good.

4. Hangovers - Tell yourself you are simply suffering the wrath of grapes.

5. Allow children to make their own mistakes. Laughing at their stupidity also helps.

6. Children need encouragement. If your child gets an answer right, tell them it was a lucky guess. That way they'll develop a good, lucky feeling.

7. Don't forget that depression is only anger without enthusiasm.

8. Men are from Earth. Women are from Earth. Deal with it!

9. If you must choose between two evils, pick one you've never tried before.

10. (How to satisfy a woman) - Adore, appreciate, caress, charm, cherish, coax, compliment, embrace, enchant, enthrall, hug, humor, honor, idolize, pamper, phone, promise, relish, respect, sacrifice for, savor, serenade, spoil, stroke, treasure, understand, venerate & worship. (How to satisfy a man) - Show up naked!

11. Doing the job right first time gets the job done. Doing it 17 times gives you job security!

12. If you eyes hurt after drinking coffee, remove the spoon from the cup.

13. All power corrupts! Absolute power is pretty cool, though.

14. Love your neighbor, but don't get caught.

15. If something were worth doing, wouldn't it have been done already?

16. Let people know where you stand, wear the same socks for a month.

17. Be nice to the loners and nerds at school... you'll be working for them in the future!

18. Avoid embarrassing children in front of their peers by forbidding them to ever bring friends home.

19. Don't kick a man when he's down unless you're sure he won't get up!

20. If all life gives you is lemons, stick them down your shirt and make your boobs look bigger.

21. Avoid the embarrassment of tripping in public by repeating the same movement several times to make it look like a normal part of your behavior.

22. If you can stay calm while all around you is chaos, you probably haven't completely understood the seriousness of the situation!

23. Dead men don't bite, but pretty soon they start to smell.

24. It's hard to make a comeback when you haven't been anywhere.

25. Honesty is the best policy, but insanity is a better defense.

26. If you can't beat them... arrange to have them beaten.

27. Jesus loves you, but everyone else thinks you're a prick.

28. The face of a child can say it all, especially the mouthpart of the face.

29. When all else fails... lower your standards.30. You will catch more flies with a bucket of sh*t than a spoonful ofhoney.

31. If life is a waste of time, and time is a waste of life, then let's all get wasted together and have the time of our lives.

32. One man's meat is another man's meat... after 72 hours of pioneering surgery.

33. It may be that your only purpose in life is to serve as a warning to others.

34. Ambition is a lame excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy.

35. If at first you don't succeed, call it a day and have a beer!

36. Encourage independence in children by regularly losing them at the supermarket. 37. Remember that a clear conscience is usually the sign of a weak memory.

38. The things that come to those who wait are the things those who got there first didn't want. 39. Abandon the search for truth... settle for a good fantasy.

40. Never go to bed mad - stay up and fight.

41. When in doubt, mumble.

42. It's frustrating when you know all the answers and nobody asks you the questions.

43. There are very few problems that can't be solved by orders ending with '...or I'll shoot'.

44. No matter how good she looks, some other guy is sick and tired of putting up with her sh*t.

45. Beauty is only a light switch away.

46. How to avoid a crocodile attack - Look the croc' straight in the eye and stick out your tongue to touch the tip of your nose. A crocodile cannot stick out its tongue but will be so impressed that it will attempt to copy you, causing its tongue to snap off.
Then it will bleed to death.

47. The meek will inherit the Earth... after everyone else has finished with it.48. How to avoid an attack from an unfriendly lion - Wait until the lion is 5 feet away and then ram a pair of ladders down it's throat.If you have trouble finding ladders in the jungle then a small item of furniture such as a bedside table or a cocktail cabinet will do.

49. Learn from your parent's mistakes - use birth control.

50. If you think there is good in everybody, you haven't met everybody.

51. Never knock on death's door - ring the doorbell and run like f*ck!

52. He who laughs last just got the joke.

53. Remember it takes a big man to cry, but a bigger man to laugh at that man.

54. Birds of a feather flock together... and sh*t all over your car.

55. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy who can retire at 40 and laugh at everyone else working away for the next 25 years!

56. To prevent your toilet from smelling, piss in the shower!

57. Light travels faster than sound. That's why some people look intelligent, until you hear them speak.

58. Eat healthily, exercise daily, think positively, and die anyway.

59. Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.

60. Stop judging others - even the inept and the laughable.

Hale Holy %$&@!

2005-09-17T11:57:00.000-07:00

I bought Hale's cd for my best friend who wants to sulk on melancholoneliness over some guy. SOME guy! I never understood why she adores these kids other than the cheesy video, its poster boy lead and the fact that SOME guy played/sang their hit song to her when they were on the phone once. But it's all good business. Their carrier "The Day you said Goodbye" is my theme song everyday when I go to work for the past 4 months. It's literally the 1st song I hear on MYX when I get up and the last song on the FX before it pulls over. Damn. Their song is even a ringtone! These kids are BIG!

Surprisingly, it's the kind of song that grows in you. I usually know that I hate a song or group the 1st time I hear it. And no one can change that. I HATED them in the beginning. Who are these kids anyway? Some Rivermaya spin-off? For me my band/alternative days were long gone when grunge and Seattle bands were the thing. When the boys in my high school were listening to Nirvana, Smashing Pumpkins, Green Day and were never ashamed to collect posters of Axl Rose. Even our Catholic teachers proclaimed that LIVE is EVIL. Get that? LIVE is EVIL spelled backwards! And yes, backmasking became cool again featuring the Eraserheads. Get that? They're the new Beatles! We got Beatles in our shores before UK's Oasis were ever formed!

Going back, Hale's repertoire are pure melancholic Coldplayish sentimental songs indeed. What's even more pathetic are their sulken faces. Seems like Champ (lead/vocalist) is the lone member who was taught to do PR. I guess the others just haven't realized yet that they're faces are in every freaking music video channel, song books, magazines, even my 80-something grandmother probably knows them. Frankly, these guys should get used to fame or maybe responding to the questions at least. I've seen some of their interviews in MTV and MYX seems like Champ's kinda embarassed that their other members can't answer a simple question as "Who's your biggest musical influence?" (In the Philippines this only translates to "Sino idol mo?" It doesn't mean anything more than that, believe me!)

The album has a pretty neat packaging though. Interesting cover, no lame dedication and shout-outs of sorts. The opening bars are catchy. It's too radio-friendly to the point of being easy listening or pop. No doubt, if they play their cards right they'll get very wide acceptance. Not just in album sales and but musically as an artist and with the critics as well. The lyrics are still amateurish though. Reminds me of High school when you just discovered prose, metaphors, analogies and freestyle poetry. Their words give you that youthful girlish feeling all over again. I guess their songwriter whoever it is in the group still needs a bit of maturity and realize that simplicity and being profound is not a crime. He's very promising though, like a teenage Rico Blanco. And another thing I may ask, are the lyrics really meant to be in a handwritten font? The tracing paper could be cutting edge this side of town. But if it's a girl's handwriting there, it looks like a wedding invitation good thing it's not pink and scented!

Put some Reggae in your Jeggae...Yeah!!!

2005-09-17T09:23:00.000-07:00

There's nothing extraordinary with this place-Xymaca. In fact its way too ordinary only its just blessed with its very 'happenin' location on a strip called Timog. This bar reminds me of our good ol Marlone's in UP. It's the dormer's haven, a very big part in every any UPV memorabilia. Where most kids profoundly get their ultimate UP experience. First drink, first puff Miagao style! Clearly it's the best tambayan/carinderia/inuman/classroom/internet cafe and god-knows-what-else! Again, nothing too special but just ask around and u get it...it' where all the cool people hang out!
We went there to see Brownman Revival on a rainy friday night. We got there way too early at 9pm so guess what its just a hollow matchbox of a pit trying hard to create a boracay 'pawasak', 'pawala' appeal minus the sand and the bikinis. Booze and cool music i'm pretty sure of that. But cool crowd and cooler vibe i dunno...(Only later to find out that the damn place lacks COOL AIR too! The ventilation just sucks i felt that my lungs and the nipa hut cum bar area could blow up anytime because of the kids filthy thick smoke!)
There's a mezzanine level by the way for all I care. We were ushered there coz all 6 table were reserved in advance. (On one table it says _ Reserved for ex presidential son Jinggoy Estrada. Who are we kidding?) Must be the VIP lounge I thought. It's nothing more than a dressing room and one big lamesa to hold more booze and the bands' equipment. Again, so dark and narrow it screams-UPV Little Theater dressing room! (last time i heard the place was already renovated thank God!)
Anyways, we went outside for a while to have dinner some place coz it's pretty clear that there's nothing particularly edible on this place that seats about 50 but can accomodate 300 on a big night (proven very true!) We got back around 10 thirtyish and just decided to let the band come on and probably leave before the 1st set is over. After an hour of looking around, a beer, some smoke and some more smoke...the Messiahs finaly arrived! Hey, we were there to see them so yeah forget the shitty thoughts and let's get it on!
The first song was a reggae rendition of Dr. Hook's classic Sharing the Night Together. No wonder everyone just swooned. These guys definitely know how to flatter! Dino, yes the supa hunky vocalist can carry a tune alright but no one yes NO ONE can just pull off this dorky song as an opening if either #1 you're not cute and #2 wala kang appeal #3 hindi ka sexy and #4 hindi ka guapo! I admit I'm a fan. In fairness, that goes to all members of the group. The set ended after about 6 numbers including some songs from their album. By this time the crowd quadripled and everyone standing about a square inch from each other. This is one place where guys are not ashamed to groove and sing mushy love songs. And the hell everyone cares!..."reggae to pre...adik...one beat one love..." Hahahhaha LOL!!!! Anyways, the vibe was goddamn good to hell with Wannabes and Bimbos and our lungs already protruding, but beer was so accessible in our spot so we decided to stay.
Brownman Revival caught my attention when their video Maling Akala was came on. A true blue Eraserheads wit and flavor it's a perfect launching for any newly signed group. For one it is a revival so there's obviously the BIG recall factor and technically fans of the defunked band will immediately be their immediate followers. But this is not asking too much though since the group also hailed from UP about the same time Eraserheads dropped out but still very strong on campus and they already have a cult following with their numerous gigs and ex-bands. I can just cringe and swear at the sight of very pubescent Paris Hilton clad groupies at the back. It was a tennis court by the way. Who would ever thought that a tennis court will be so convenient at the back of this place. I'd be more thankful if its the Fire Brigade!

Who says 'STRESSED' is spelled 'DESSERTS' backwards?

2005-09-10T11:25:00.000-07:00

How true?!

2005-09-04T08:07:00.000-07:00

Sweet song...SWEET THING

2005-08-29T20:07:00.000-07:00

Before Nina came out with her own SWEET version there was the jazzier and in my opinion, more soulful (for lack of a better and appropriate term) version by Rufus and Chaka Khan. This was featured in movies Love and Basketball (I've seen this a long time ago but never had a recollection of the song) and Deliver us From Eva with LL Cool J. Gosh, u should see LL Cool J sing this song in his truck with partner Gabriel Union. Just 2 things, you'll either love or loathe him! ;)

Sweet Thing
I will love you anyway
Even if you cannot stay
I think you are the one for me
Here is where you ought to be
I just want to satisfy ya
Though you're not mine I can't deny ya
Don't you hear me talking baby?
Love me now or I'll go crazy
[CHORUS:]
Oh sweet thing
Don't you know you're my everything?
Oh sweet thing Don't you know you're my everything?
Yes, you areI wish you were my lover
But ya act so undercover
To love you child my who life long
Be it right, or be it wrong
I'm only what you make me, baby
Don't walk away, don't be so shady
Don't want your mind, don't want your money
These words I say, they may sound funny, but...
[CHORUS]
You are my heat
You are my fire
You make me weak with strong desire
To love you child my whole life long
Be it right, or be it wrong
I just want to satisfy ya
Though you're not mine I can't deny ya
Don't you hear me talking baby?
Love me now or I'll go crazy
[VAMP:]
You're my heat, you are my fire
You're not mine, I can't deny ya
Don't you hear me talking, baby?
Love me now, or I'll go crazy

After Eden

2005-08-29T02:23:00.000-07:00

This is one book that i literally finished in one sitting. don't be too impressed though, it's a comic book aka graphic novel by Arnold Arre that you can definitely finish in like an hour (without distraction) or two if there's a lot of loud music and louder mouths in the background... like in a mall - which was where I was then!
But don't be fooled by the synopsis and the reviews though...this is not one comic version of the underrated/overrated Valentine romances collectors edition vol, 1. (With foreword from Lualhati Bautista. OOps..i think i'm overdoing this! hehe..) Anyways, to those are reading this, read it! I came across this book last year when I was actually searching if there were newer titles of Zsa zsa Saturnnah. Well I was quite hooked to this queer super heroine when a friend lent me his copy. Neal , u know it's you! He apparently read this book as well. But well, I am not making any book review coz I'm not too keen on it and maybe I won't make any justice to this brilliant work if I ever suck! Just click on this site to know more. i just wish this will not turn out to be a brilliant plot for another screenplay cause I will definitely gag to death. And more than anything, it'll break my heart. sniff..sniff...

"Senti-pede"

2005-08-20T19:56:00.000-07:00

this is one kick-ass piece i'm sure any chick lit fan will die for. it sure killed me coz i read this at a time when yeah...u thought it was over but it's not! hope some insensitive macho freak will be enlightened and take a good second look at their "girl-friends". And yeah, girls be sure the light is dimly lit.

What's a Meantime Girl?

She's the one you call when you're bored because she makes you laugh. She's the one you talk to when you're feeling down because she's willing to lend an ear and be a friend.

She's not the one you call when you need a date to your company's Christmas party, or to go dancing with on a Saturday night. She's the one you spend time with between girlfriends, before you find "The One." You know, the one who you keep around in the meantime. She's not one of the guys, not a tomboy, but you don't look at her as a "real" woman either. She's not bitchy enough, moody enough, or sexy enough to be seen in that light. She's too laid-back, too easily amused by the same things your male buddies are amused by. She's too understanding, too comfortable - she doesn't make you feel nervous or excited the way a "real" woman does.

But she's cool, and nice, and funny, and attractive enough that when you're lonely or horny and need intimate female companionship, she'll do just fine. You don't have to wine and dine her because she knows the real you already, and you don't have any facades to keep up, no pretenses to preserve. You're not trying to get anything of substance out of her.

She's not easy, but you know that she cares about you and is attracted to you, and that she'll give you the intimacy you need. And you know you don't have to explain yourself or the situation, that she'll be able to cope with the fact that this isn't the beginning of a relationship or that there's any possibility that you have any real romantic feelings for her.

It won't bother her that you'll get up in the morning, put on your pants, say goodbye, and go on a date with the woman you've been mooning over for weeks who finally agreed to go out with you. She'll settle for a goodbye hug and a promise to call her and tell her how the date went. She's just so cool . . . why can't all women be like that?! But deep down, if you really think about it (which you probably don't because to you, the situation between the two of you isn't important enough to merit any real thought), you know that it's really not fair.

You know that although she would never say it, it hurts her to know that despite all her good points and all the fun you two have, you don't think she's good enough to spend any real time with. Sure, it's mostly her fault, because she doesn't have to give in to your needs - she could play the hard-to-get bitch like the rest of them do, if she really wanted to. But you and she both know that she probably couldn't pull it off. Maybe she's too short, or a little overweight, or has a big birthmark on her forehead, or works at Taco Bell.

Whatever the reason, somehow life has given her a lot of really great qualities but has left out the ones that men want (or think they want) in a woman. So she remains forever the funny friend, the steadfast companion, the secret lover, and you go on searching for your goddess who will somehow be everything you ever wanted in a woman. You'll joke to her that she should be the best man at your wedding, and she'll laugh and make a joke about a smelly rental tux. She doesn't captivate you with her beauty, or open doors with her smile. Mainly she blends in with the crowd. She's safe. She doesn't want to be the center of attention and turn the heads of everyone in the room.

But she wants to turn someone's head. She wants to be special to someone, too. We all do. She has feelings. She has a heart. In fact, she probably has a bigger and better heart than any woman you've ever known because she's had a front-row seat to The Mess That Is Your Life, and she likes you anyway. She obviously sees something worthwhile and redeeming in you because although you've given her nothing, absolutely no reason to still be around, she is.

Anyway, yeah. I'm a Meantime Girl. Been one more times than I care to admit. I don't know the reason, really, and at this point I don't even care. I just want to let every guy know who's ever had the good fortune to have a Meantime Girl that we may be a lot of fun, but we cry too. A lot. And someday we won't be around.

<>

2005-08-20T17:24:00.000-07:00

This has been in my office mailbox for sometime...like 2 years already? Anyway here goes...TO ALL MY FRIENDS...those that knew me when Edward Furlong was still the dreamboat of every pre-pubescent imagination...and those that have remained faithful till this day when OUR GUY is back in the CROW! Gosh, can't wait!

Somewhere b e t w e e n the procrastination.... and the homework..... and the incessant forwards..... and the friendships..... and the calls to each other complaining about crushes!!...... Somewhere b e t w e e n the phone calls to old friends..... And the "I miss you's" & the "I love you's"....... And the "What are we doing tonight's?"..... And somewhere b e t w e e n all of the changing, growing... Somewhere b e t w e e n the classes........ And the skipping classes...... And the studying for tests....... And the pretending to study for tests....... And the downright NOT studying for tests... I forgot.......... I forgot what school is all about.I forgot what it meant to cry....... I forgot that pretending to be happy doesn't make you happy........... And that pretending to be smart doesn't make you smart............ I forgot that you can't just forget the past in fear of the future.......... I forgot that you can't control falling in love........... And that you can't make yourself fall in love........... I learned thatI can love......... I learned that it's okay to mess up......... And it'sokay to ask for help......... And it's okay to feel like crud.......... I learned it's okay to complain and whine to all your friends for a whole day........ I learned that sometimes the things you want most you just can't have.I learned that the greatest thing about school isn't the Dances orthe DRiNKiNG or the hook-ups... It's the friendships, which means taking chances........ I learned that sometimes the things we want to forget are the things which we most need to talk about.......... I learned that letters from friends are the most important thing. And that sending cards to your friends makes you feel better. But, basically, I just learned that my friends........ Both o l d and new......... Are the most important people to me in the world. And without them, I wouldn't be who I am today..... So this is a thank you to all of my friends. . For always being there and I love you.